the art of acting

I lock the door
Turn on the water
Bury that sound
So no one hears anything anymore
Mirrors lie to me, tell me you can see
Maybe you won't be able to recognize me now
I know you can feel, all the things you steal
And you're taking, you're takin it

Feeling so easy
Make me skin and bones
I'm always on my knees for you
You break like it's even
When you're faking it
Thin, Where have you been?

Well sometimes it burns
Baby I'll wash it out
It all look so big
Nevermind, I don't feel anything

It only hurt a bit
I still feel like shit
And I think you won't be able to recognize me now
It's easier to quit
Harder to admit and
You're pushin me, you're fucking pushin me!

Feeling so easy
Make me skin and bones
I'm always on my knees for you
You break like it's even
When you're faking it
Thin, Where have you been?

Cause you always win
You always win

Laughin' like it works
Bleeding like it dont hurt
Knock you off your feet
Even if you need me
Tear you apart, hey now i need you

Feeling too easy make me skin and bones
Im always on my knees for you
Break like its even
When your fakin 

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I feel bad for deceiving people.  I know logically I could have died.  I know how close to death I truly was, I know that a heart rate of 30 is dangerous and I know that when you're blood pressure drops to 60/32 it's death.  I know all of this but I still can't help but want to go back.  I really sort of wish my insurance will actually pull out after 30 days.  So they're good at fighting insurance but they weren't the ones who fought with my insurance company to get me here.  I made EVERY GOD DAMN STEP.  I hate that though, I hate that I fought so hard to get here but just because I gained weight in the goddamn hospital because of the fucking doctor I am unworthy of treatment.  I came in fat and I wasn't, I wasn't fat before and I'm not lying.