Honey broadripple is burning
and the girls are gettin sick
off snorting coke up in the bathroom
while their boyfriends pick up chicks
and darling i'm lost
i heard you whispering
that night in fountain square
trashed the streets makes me wish that i'd go home
there?was love?inside the basement
way back home we used to lie
in a sleeping?bag we shared upon
the floor for?almost every night
oh darling i'm drunk
everything that i had loved has turned to stone
so pack your bags and come back home
yeah i'm wasted
you can taste it
don't look at me that way
cause i'll be hanging from a rope
i'll be hangin from a rope
if my woman was a fire
she'd burn out before i wake
and be replaced by pounds of whiskey
cigarettes and outer space
then somebody moves
and everything you thought you had has gone to shit
we've got a lot
don't ever forget that
and i wrote this on airplane where the people look like ants
and when a woman that you love is gone
she was bombing east japan
don't fucking move
cause everything you think you have will go to shit
we've got a lot
don't ever forget that
yeah i'm wasted
you can taste it
don't look at me that way
cause i'll be hanging from a rope
i'll be hangin from a rope
yeah i'm wasted
you can taste it
don't look at me that way
cause i'll be hanging from a rope
i'll be hangin from a rope

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I've come to a very hard conclusion.  I am flawed, I am numb and my defensive mechanism is still intact.  I am getting frustrated at every little thing  I get irritated at the inconsistency of staff, I get annoyed if I have to sit at the table when I'm done.  My diseases/addiction has found another outlet, well besides art that is but that's only a small portion. I'm incredibly frustrated. I'm starting to get pissed off at the simplest of things.  In all honesty I think it might be the part of me that doesn't want to deal with things.  My ED is pissed, the cutter in me is pissed.  I am left raw and numb and most importantly vulnerable. There are voices in my head screaming at me.  My ED is SCREAMING "You fat fucking worthless piece of shit." There's a voice whispering, "Just one cut and you'll feel better." I can't stand feeling especially vulnerable. I can't say out loud that DARIUS IS DEAD or that I want my mother to care, I want to feel loved, I wanted her to hug me.