Tuesday, May 4, 2010

and it goes on and on my friend

I went to a copper to fix a hole in my shoe
He took one look at my face and said "I can fix that hole in you"
I beg your pardon I'm not looking for a cure
I've seen enough of my friends in the depths of the Godsick blues
You know I'm a liar (liar)
You know I'm a liar (liar)
Nobody helps a liar (liar)
Cause I've been down to Dixie and dropped acid on my tongue
Tripped upon the land till enough was enough
I was a little bit lighter
And adventure on my sleeve
I was a little drunk and looking for company
So I found myself a sweetheart with the softest of hands
We were unlucky in love but I'd do it all again
We built ourselves a fire (fire)
We built ourselves a fire (fire)
You know I'm a liar (liar)
You know I'm a liar (liar)
And you don't know what I've done
And by the rolling river is exactly where I was
There was no snake or cure for unlucky in love
To be lonely is a habit like smoking or taking drugs
And I've quit them both but man was it rough
(Man was it rough)
And now I am tired (tired)
It just made me tired (tired)
Lets build ourselves a fire (fire)
Lets build ourselves a fire (fire)
------------------------------------------------

I don't really know what to think right now.  I know that I can't work at my job right now because it's too physically and mentally draining.  I feel as if I am crawling out of my skin.  I can't help but feel hopeless and I feel myself spiraling down.  They started me on effexor again and I don't know.  I hope it works but I can't help but feel that I am flawed, then again don't I always?  I feel crazy, am crazy always have been crazy.  That's the way the cookie crumbles I suppose.  I feel like I have a hundred different things pulling me in a million different directions right now and I just want to cover my ears with my hands and shake my head. "I'm going insane," she said. 

1 comment:

  1. Just know that I truly am thinking of you, praying for you and keeping you close in my thoughts. You are not alone and so many people care for you!
    please do not be afraid to reach out and ask for help! Life can be help- but it is up to us to change it. I think you could benefit from a 'geographic' (change of location). I am in the same situation. Everything (surroundings, people, buildings, schools etc) remind me of my past and aren't helping me start fresh! Take care of yourself!!! You are BETTER THAN THIS!!!!xoxxoxoxo
    B

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